After some sleepless nights and careful consideration, I made the decision to move house. This may not seem like the biggest change for some people, but for me it is. In December 2017, I finally moved out of my mothers home and into my first home. In April 2018, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety which eventually left me housebound. I managed to find a safe space in my home and wouldn’t leave the house for weeks at a time and even then I would only travel to the local shops and back.
My severe anxiety left me feeling trapped in this house I once called ‘Home’.
Being cut off from the outside world eventually started to trigger my depression as I felt like I couldn’t leave my house, see my friends or have any normal human interaction. After a while I began to feel like moving out would help my anxiety get better. This thought began to flood my mind more and more which lead me to hate the place I’d once felt safe in. I began to blame the house for my anxiety which may sound stupid but that just proves how much of a bad place my head was and still is in.
For the first time in my life, I actually have no idea what lies ahead for me and as much as this prospect scares me. I know it’s for the best, this could be the change I really need in my life to help improve my mental health. Part of me is still worried, in case I’m making the worst decision of my life which I will regret later on. But for the first time in a long time, I’m living in the moment. I’m standing on my own two feet and not stumbling through my life. I am in charge of my own future and I’m striving for better. I am taking control of the fear and not letting it consume me.
Whilst I am sad to say goodbye to my first home, I am excited for the new journey ahead. Part of my heart will remain in this leafy lane, my first home. Thank you for being my safe place when I needed it. Thank for protecting my family and giving us room to grow and make beautiful memories that will live with me forever.
Since moving into my new home I have noticed a huge change within myself. I am thriving for a real change in my life and moving forward with my recovery. The absense in my blogging was due to me moving home and then priorotising my mental health and seeking the help I needed. Now that those are ongoing, there is only one part of my life that I am wanting to work on which is bringing this blog back to life. I will be continuing to share my mental health journey and update you on what has happened in my life during my blogging break. I will also be picking up the other aspects of my blog such as book posts and lifestyle posts. Thank you for all of your support and I hope you are looking forward to my new content!